A Marriage Diagnostic Check
Just about everyone knows the statistics regarding divorce rates. Even still, you will be hard-pressed to find a couple that believes it will happen to them. So where's the disconnection? Like everything from auto repair to healthcare, maintenance is key to proper performance. Here are some ways to troubleshoot.
1. Ignoring issues as a couple. Pretending there aren't any issues in the relationship is not wise. Unexpressed feelings will start weighing on you. Before you know it, small annoyances will turn into huge resentments. Deal with issues as they come up.
2. Not working on the relationship. Some couples think relationships will work without putting much effort into them. This is not true. Relationships need work just like a plant needs watering. At least understand how relationships work. Work on yourself and what you bring to the relationship. Healthy relationships happen from the inside out. Happy wife, happy life.
3. Ineffective communication. Good communication is an effective way to create a fulfilling relationship. However, there's a right way to fight and a wrong way to fight. Resorting to "blame and shame" tactics will ruin any trust you've built. While it's a natural defense mechanism, all it does is result in the attacked spouse shutting down.
4. Not spending enough time together. Give yourself the time to connect with one another. If you are not doing this, then feeling disconnected and distant is on the horizon. This could eventually lead to another connection with someone else.
A wise person said that failing to plan is planning to fail. Your marriage can last for years and years if you give it regular tune-ups. If there is a warning light flashing, go get it fixed. Seek out the advice of couples therapist or family counselor. You'll be rolling again soon enough.