Cheating spouses and criminals seem to have something in common...leaving
behind evidence. “Students of human behavior have speculated that
people take ridiculous chances or are extremely careless while committing
crimes because, on some level, they actually wanted to get caught. Such
thinking seems to stem from writings by Sigmund Freud, who wrote about
an unconscious desire to get caught and punished,” Stanton E. Samenow,
Ph.D. wrote in
Later in Mr. Samenow’s article, he concludes that criminals don’t
want to be caught, nor do they feel guilt about their behavior or the
harm they inflicted. Instead, they regret getting caught. “In most
circumstances, the only ‘help’ that they seek is to get dug
out of a hole that, by their own behavior, they have created for themselves,”
Could criminals be compared to cheating spouses? In many ways, yes. While
adulterous spouses may feel guilt and remorse about cheating, they are
in the habit of being sloppy, of leaving behind a digital trail of evidence
much like how criminals leave behind clues at the crime scene.
Cheating Spouses & Their Digital Trails
Most adults today are practically attached to their cellphones, which is
where they conduct much, if not all, of their flirtatious communications.
The thing is, once something becomes digital or happens online, it’s
almost impossible to erase.
Suspicious spouses can recover deleted files, and racy messages can be
screenshotted and saved elsewhere – all it takes is someone who’s
halfway tech savvy to capture the digital bread crumbs of a cheating spouse.
Of course, gaining access to this info can be challenging when the adulterous
spouse refuses to part with their smartphone because they know an undeleted
text message, email, direct message, or pic can get them in serious trouble.
Can You Use the Digital Evidence in Court?
Suppose you hacked into your spouse’s Facebook account or email and
found evidence that he or she is having an affair with their co-worker.
Can you use the evidence in court? You may be a great investigator but
the evidence you gathered may be useless, except to confirm your decision to
end your marriage.
You see, your spouse is protected by strict state and federal privacy laws
and the information contained on their smartphones and email accounts
is not usually admissible in a divorce case, not if you didn’t get
your spouse’s express permission. Unlike marital assets, you do
not have ownership or rights to your spouse’s emails, private texts
and social media accounts.
“But what if my cheating spouse is seeking alimony?” Colorado
is a no-fault divorce state, so an affair would not bar your spouse from
receiving an alimony award. However, if your spouse wasted marital assets
on their paramour; for example, if a husband financially supported his
girlfriend, or if a cheating wife bought her boyfriend a new motorcycle,
then it could affect
Does Adultery Affect Alimony in Colorado?