Tips for Good Fathers in Bad Custody Disputes

Get familiar with your children’s school. This can be done at any time. Start tomorrow if you can:

Know the name of your child’s teachers.

Visit your child’s school.

Meet with their teacher.

Arrange to meet the teacher monthly if your child needs additional attention and you want to stay abreast of the child’s progress.

Know how they are doing in school. Are they turning in homework? Are they doing well? How are they getting along with the other kids? Do they seem happy or sad or quiet now that things are changing at home?

Let the teacher know that they can call you at any time and that you are 100 percent interested in how your child is doing.

Sign up to be a chaperone on a field trip – just one if it’s not really your thing or you don’t have time. It gives the teachers a chance to know you in a more child-centered social setting and gives you an opportunity to shine as a parent to both the teachers and your child.

Make sure the school has your address and contact information, if it has changed.

Make sure you are on the emergency contact list.

Make sure you are set up in their system to get report cards, notices, etc.

Medical Providers:

Know the name and locations of your child’s doctor, dentist, therapist, etc.

Try to attend routine checkups, if you can. If Mom is still the primary scheduler, ask her to schedule the annual check-ups at a time when you can both attend.

For appointments that occur during your parenting time, plan to take them to the visits yourself as often as you can.

Purpose to introduce yourself to all of their providers, even if they do not have check-ups in the near future.

Let their providers know they can contact you at any time and that you are 100 percent interested in how your child is doing.

If your child has ongoing scheduled treatments, ask questions and get up-to-date on the treatment plan and follow your child’s progress.

Make sure the medical provider has your address and contact information, if it has changed.

Make sure you are on the emergency contact list.

Make sure you are set up in their system to get appointment notices, etc.

Some medical providers do not like to be involved in bitter custody battles, so keep them out of the fighting. You just want to be an informed, involved Dad. You don’t need to bad-mouth Mom to do this. Just be your best you!

Agreed Upon Extracurricular Activities:

Know what activities the children are signed up for.

Meet the coaches and the ballet teachers and the tutors.

Take your children to practices that occur during your parenting time.

Attend their activities, games and performances, whether they occur during your parenting time or not. This is an awesome opportunity to see your kid outside of your regular parenting time and enjoy their football games or their recitals. To avoid the tension between you and Mom, introduce yourself to other lone Dads at the games and still cheer your child on. By doing this, you communicate that your child STILL has his or her two biggest fans and that you are both still on their team!