When a marriage ends because of infidelity, it’s a good idea to take some time alone once the dust settles. Don’t go joining a convent or become a monk. Hang out with friends and join new social circles. But you may want to lay off from the dating until you’ve healed from the nightmare.
After time has passed and clarity has been reached, you may feel (or perhaps your friends have been vocal in their opinions) that it’s time to get back out there. And as you dust off your first-impression outfits and practice your dating chit-chat, here are some suggestions to make the most of your experiences and future relationships.
In your time of pseudo-solitude, hopefully you’ve taken time to forgive. Even if you are still using you ex’s picture as a dartboard, you should have at least learned to forgive yourself. Whether you turned a blind eye to the obvious red flags or just fell for the same kind of person again, it is important to learn from these habits and mistakes. Learn from them and move on. Forgive yourself and let go of the emotional baggage. Insecurity and fear have probably tip-toed into your perception. Kick them out before they have time to do damage. Fear could cause you to unconsciously sabotage what could be a great relationship. Insecurity could make you hold on to a destructive relationship for fear that no one else will have you. Don’t believe the lies. Hold on to the truth with everything in you. Speaking of truth, remember that your new friend is not your ex. Don’t assume that this one will cheat on you, too. You’ve already done the soul-searching and learned what to look out for. But if the new person is innocent, don’t give him or her your ex’s sentence. It may take a little time to get back in your groove. But if you adhere to these guidelines, you’ll be well on your way to your next healthy relationship.